This and/or That?

Which is it for you? Are you more likely to think things have to be this OR that, or do you think things can be this AND that? Have you ever thought about it?

When we think things have to be this OR that, we limit our possibilities. We determine that someone or something has to be right or wrong, good or bad, true or false. I think we have been trained to think this way for the most part. This mindset causes division in people.

Do you believe things can be this AND that?

I for sure do. I believe we can experience having sadness and joy at the same time. That can happen in so many life experiences. Like when your child goes away to college or gets married you can be happy for them while also being sad that they grew up so fast and you’ll miss them. That one is pretty easy to wrap our heads around.

What if we expand our mindset and get curious about looking at being an ‘and’ person instead of immediately going to no or ‘or’.

For instance, I used to think that I couldn’t set strong boundaries and be loving. I thought if I set strong boundaries that it could only mean that I was harsh and unsympathetic. I have found that I can be loving AND set strong boundaries.

We can get angry and disagree AND be kind to each other.

We don’t have to say no or OR when we are angry, we can respond with respect. There is space and for everyone to expand and grow when we look at things with an open mind.

Society would have us believe if we don’t do certain things that we won’t be successful and happy. We need high-paying jobs, big houses, and cars or we won’t measure up. We can have all that AND feel like a failure, and we can make less money, have a small house, AND be happy and fulfilled.

I think it really all comes down to choice. What will it be for you? AND/OR?

When we change the world changes.

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2 Comments

  1. Lisa James on August 16, 2021 at 12:42 am

    Love this!

  2. Marilyn on August 16, 2021 at 10:45 pm

    This is so true in relationships, and situations throughout life. Not always easy to navigate though. Thanks for the reminder!

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