Finding Our Value

When our self-worth and self-esteem are aligned we know our value. Our value doesn’t depend on others’ opinions of us. It doesn’t depend on what we do or have. I believe in our society today we have forgotten that the value we were born with stays the same throughout our life: our innate value (self-worth).  Only our perception of our value changes, our self-esteem.

Could part of the struggle we’re feeling be because we give so much of ourselves to our work and our busyness that our value is placed on what we do instead of who we are? Is this struggle something new or are we just noticing it because of the changes in our world? What if we knew our value wasn’t found in what we do and what we have? What we do and have add value to our lives but do not determine our value.

Our inner knowing is replaced at a young age with what I call “the great chase”. When we’re young we sing, dance and play. We aren’t concerned with what anyone thinks, we’re just being ourselves. As we get older we start basing our perception of ourselves on others’ reactions, opinions, rewards, and lots of other things. We look outside of ourselves and chase our value.

I started at a very young age basing my value on what people said to me, how they treated me and what I thought they thought about me. I’m a recovering people-pleaser…anyone else? My value has much of my life been given to “fixing” others. Not because they asked me to, but because I thought my value would increase if I “fixed” them. My great chase lasted for many years until I couldn’t do it anymore. I realized that my value wasn’t in anyone or anything else. I didn’t have to DO anything to have value, I just had to BE. At first, BEING was much harder than DOING. I guess that’s why I put it off for so long. I have found peace in being, and so can you.

Picture a world where our self-worth and self-esteem are in alignment.

We would know our value and wouldn’t need to question the value of others.

We would know our value and not chase it in acquiring things. 

We would know our value and know that what we do and have adds value to our lives and does not determine our value. 

We would know our value and know we didn’t have to prove it by judging others because of our differences. 

We would experience the oneness we are instead of the divide we’re feeling individually and collectively.

If our constant doing leaves us feeling like we still need to do more, maybe it’s because we’re looking for our value in it. The value we find outside ourselves can be short-lived because it’s dependent on other people and circumstances. When we get quiet enough to remember our value, we change.   

When we change the world changes.

When we change the world changes.