We can’t control what others think about us

What do you think?

We can’t control what others think or say about us.

We can’t control their perception of us, no matter how long or hard we try.

I get it, we want to be liked, respected, and valued.  When we ‘chase’ after other’s approval, we give our power away to them.

Oftentimes I don’t think the other person even knows we are doing it.

Then we take it personally when others say or do things that trigger us.

Here’s something to think about…it might help. Repeat after me…

YOUR OPINION OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

Read that again. Write it down, make it the home screen on your phone, keep it as a constant reminder until you GET it. That’s what I had to do.

We spend way too much of our precious time wondering and worrying about what others think of us (I did anyway). The thing of it is, sometimes I made up stories in my head about what someone thought about me or a situation. Then the story would grow and grow. I would find all kinds of evidence to support my story, that’s all I was focused on.

How many times have you made up stories about what someone, sometimes even a stranger, was thinking about you because of a look they gave you, or you thought they gave you? What if they weren’t even aware that they were looking your way when they thought about something they forgot or they had a pain, or any number of other things?

What if when this happens with someone close to us, we have the courage to ask? I love the approach of saying, “The story I’m telling myself is…” Let the other person tell you what they were thinking instead of believing the story you’re making up.

Here’s what I have learned:

People think about you far, far less than you imagine they do.

People don’t even notice some of the things you think they do.

People are thinking about themselves, and what they project is about them, not you.

There is true freedom in expressing yourself without fear of judgement from yourself or others.

Understanding this has changed my life.

When we focus on ourselves and what we want to put out into the world, the opinion of others becomes none of our business, and we’re good with that.

When we change the world changes.