The most important relationship we have is the relationship with ourselves

The most important relationship we have is the relationship with ourselves.

We must be connected to who we are, our true essence, to connect with others.

We cannot be more connected to other people than we are to ourselves.

If we want relationships that are meaningful and deep, we must start with ourselves. What does that mean and how do we do it?

Start your day off with quiet time.

Take time every morning, even if it is only 5 or 10 minutes, to sit in the quiet and meditate, pray, read something inspirational, whatever you like. Put the phone down and give yourself your full attention. Simply making this commitment helps you start feeling like a priority in your life. I started to do this a few years ago and because I was committed and consistent, the way I felt about myself changed. I started to see the value in making myself a priority and that flowed to all aspects of my life.

Because my relationship with myself improved, my relationships with others were naturally enriched.

Mirror work.

I know this sounds crazy but try it anyway. You’re already in front of the mirror brushing your teeth and getting ready for the day or getting ready for bed every day, so while you are standing there, look yourself in the eyes and say, ‘I love you’. When I started doing this it felt so awkward; it was difficult to look at myself and say, ‘I love you’. I would look away and immediately think of something I did or said that made me unlovable. I kept with it until I could look into my eyes and feel the love. Really, try it.

Because I can feel love for myself, I can feel it more deeply for others.

Forgiveness.

Make a list of the people you need to forgive. Did you include yourself? That’s where forgiveness begins; we must forgive ourselves first. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It doesn’t mean the other person is right, or what they did or said is okay. It just means that we are releasing our pain around it. We allow grace.

Because I forgive myself, I forgive others.

Gratitude.

Gratitude alone can change our lives. Spend a few moments at the end of the day and write at least three things that you are grateful for. List two things each day that you’re grateful for about yourself.

Because I am grateful for myself, I am grateful for others.

All our relationships really do follow the relationship we have with ourselves. When we are critical of ourselves, we tend to have critical thoughts about others and that keeps us from experiencing the grace available to us.

When we make ourselves a priority in our lives, we have more to give others.

When we change the world changes.