The Lighthouse Approach: Holding Space Instead of Fixing

When I finally stepped away from the need to fix, I embraced a new way of being in relationships: The Lighthouse Approach.

A lighthouse does not chase boats, swim out to save them, or try to control the ocean. It simply stands in its light, unwavering, allowing ships to find their own way.

This shift transformed my relationships in profound ways. Instead of absorbing others’ pain and rushing to solve their problems, I now:

Observe without absorbing – I acknowledge what others are going through without taking their emotions into my own body.

Hold space – I offer love, presence, and support without trying to control the outcome.

Trust their journey – I remind myself that everyone has their own path, and it’s not my job to walk it for them.

By doing this, I no longer send the message that something is wrong with them. Instead, I communicate the truth: You are already whole. You have the answers within you. You are capable of healing yourself.

How to Shift from Fixing to Holding Space

If you find yourself stuck in fixer mode, here are some steps to help you embrace the lighthouse approach:

Recognize the Urge to Fix

The next time you feel the need to jump in and solve someone’s problem, pause and ask yourself:

Am I taking responsibility for their emotions?

Do I believe they need me to fix this for them?

Am I uncomfortable sitting with their pain?

Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle.

Ask: Is This Mine?

As an empath, you naturally absorb energy, but not everything you feel belongs to you. When you notice yourself getting emotionally overwhelmed, ask:

Is this my energy, or did I pick it up from someone or something else?

If it’s not mine, can I lovingly release it?

This simple practice can help you maintain energetic boundaries.

Offer Presence, Not Solutions

Holding space means being there for someone without trying to change their experience. You can say:

I hear you, and I’m here for you.

I trust that you will find your way through this.

You are stronger than you realize.

These words empower rather than enable.

Trust the Process

Healing is not linear, and everyone’s journey looks different. Just as you had to find your way to self-love and inner peace, so do they. Trust that they will figure it out in their own time.

Stand in Your Light

When you focus on your own self-love, boundaries, and peace, you naturally inspire others. You don’t have to convince them or push them toward healing. Your presence, your energy, and your example are enough.

The Freedom of Letting Go

Letting go of the need to fix people doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you care in a way that is healthy, sustainable, and empowering—for both you and them. When you release the burden of carrying others’ emotions, you create space for deeper, more authentic relationships.

Now, I no longer feel drained by other people’s struggles. I can love them fully without losing myself. And in doing so, I allow them the greatest gift: the opportunity to find their own strength, their own wisdom, and their own healing.

So, if you’re ready to shift from fixing to holding space, remember: Be the lighthouse. Shine your light. Trust that they will find their way.

What About You?

Have you ever felt the need to fix others?

How has shifting into the lighthouse approach changed your relationships?

Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your journey!

When we change the world changes.