No matter how long we do something or how good we are at it, there is always more to learn. If we’re open to growing and expanding, opportunities will present themselves. Sometimes these opportunities present themselves to check on a lesson we thought we left behind us, a lesson we learned all we needed to know about. Or so we thought. Ever have lessons come back again after you thought you had it all figured out? You were so sure that you had it mastered and then BOOM! You find yourself back in the middle of a storm of emotions, frustrated at yourself and the other person.
There are layers and layers of learning a lesson. Each time we get the ‘opportunity’ to learn more, we gain a deeper understanding of that lesson. I’ve heard lessons called ‘blessons’ because they contain blessings when we look for them. They’re often times buried deep in the lesson and you don’t discover the blessing until later when you take some time to reflect.
One ‘blesson’ that I’ve had the ‘privilege’ to learn over and over is ‘DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY’. Do any of you take things personally? I used to think everything was about me. I would internalize what people would say and play it over and over in my head. I would make excuses for myself and judge them for what they said. Many times they meant nothing by what they said and sometimes weren’t even referring to me when they said it. That started to change for me after I read ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. I highly recommend reading this book.
The Four Agreements helped me start to understand that what someone else says is not about me. Even when they attack and say hurtful things. What we say to someone else, we are saying for ourselves to hear, we are expressing what we feel inside. Let me say that again. What we project is what we are feeling inside. People that are critical towards others have a very critical inner voice. People that say hurtful things are hurting. Taking ownership of what we have inside and working on releasing it keeps us from offloading it onto someone else when we get upset.
I had the opportunity last week to use what I’ve learned. I’m happy to report that I have gained a deeper understanding of not taking things personally. Awareness and presence kept me from reacting in a way that is not in alignment with who I am. That keeps guilt and shame from creeping in. When challenged, I was able to stay centered and peaceful. I did not let someone take my peace. I’ve learned that it is most important to take care of what’s inside so I can feel good. Because I feel good, I project good. Because I feel love, I project love. That’s how we change the world.
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