Self-Abuse

The limit of our self-abuse is exactly the limit of abuse we will tolerate from someone else. Read that again and sit with it.

What we tell ourselves about who we are is what we subconsciously come to expect others to think about us. Therefore, when others treat us accordingly, we don’t recognize that it’s not what we deserve. It feels normal even though we may not like it.

We endlessly punish ourselves for not measuring up and being who we think we should be. Subconsciously we agree when others treat us disrespectfully. Time passes and we get used to the treatment.

In order to break out of these cycles, we must change the way we treat ourselves. We must change the way we think about ourselves and realize that we are in charge of our lives.

I spent many years in a marriage tolerating behaviors that I didn’t like. I’ve been able to own my part in the situation, realize that I allowed it, and forgive myself and others. What I’ve come to realize is that subconsciously I thought I didn’t deserve better treatment or more respect. My level of self-abuse matched my tolerance of behaviors. Others will do what they are allowed to do.

As I began to forgive myself for the way I treated myself and others, I was able to make changes in relationships that weren’t serving my highest good. As I took responsibility for the way I thought about myself and gave myself the grace that I would give anyone I love, my self-love increased. As my self-love increased, I felt worthy of better treatment.

When we truly know we are worthy, we won’t tolerate anything that doesn’t serve us. We know that others are acting out their own beliefs and it has little to do with us. We don’t take it personally and are not attached to the outcome.

When we change the world changes.