There are many places that a rejection wound can come from.
Today let’s dig into how perfectionism plays into the rejection wound.
We think that perfectionism is about us having to have everything perfect, or should I say look perfect. However, at the root is the need to be beyond reproach; to keep from being rejected. We don’t want anyone to be able to find any fault with what we do, think, say, wear, possess, or want in our lives. We think if we work hard enough to make everything look perfect enough and explain ourselves that others won’t be able to find fault. We don’t want to be rejected.
But isn’t that exactly what we’re doing to ourselves? We reject our wants and needs in an attempt to gain the approval of others; to fit in with them.
Perfectionism can silence us and keep us from sharing who we are because we think others won’t understand us. So, by keeping ourselves ‘safe’ and hidden we are rejecting who we are to fit in.
Perfectionism can repress our creativity and ambition in our careers when we compare our skills to our coworker’s skills, thinking ours will never be good enough. We undervalue ourselves.
Perfectionism can stifle our ability to create joy in our lives. We hold ourselves back because of the fear of what other people will think or how they will react.
Striving to improve is about us; we can hear and process healthy criticism in order to make the changes we desire.
Perfectionism is about our need to control others’ perceptions of us. Our focus is outside of us, where we have little or no control.
One thing I know for sure is that the only thing we can control is ourselves; our thoughts, words, and actions, and that’s where our power is.
When we change the world changes.
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