From Absorbing to Observing: Finding Peace in Letting Go

For most of my life, my instinct was to jump in, fix, and help whenever I saw someone struggling. It felt like an unshakable part of who I was—if I could ease someone’s pain, why wouldn’t I? But what I’ve come to realize, through years of experience and self-reflection, is that every time I try to take responsibility for someone else’s journey, I create my own suffering.

The truth is, I don’t always know what’s best for someone else. None of us do. We only see a small piece of the bigger picture, and our perspective is often shaped by our own fears, wounds, and desires. When I believe I know how another person’s path should unfold, I step out of alignment with reality and into resistance. And resistance always brings suffering.

The Power of Choice

Now, I ask myself: Do I want to create my own suffering?

It’s an honest question. Sometimes, we do because it’s familiar. We cling to the struggle because it feels like love, like purpose, like control. But I’ve learned that my discomfort with someone else’s pain doesn’t mean I have to take it on as my own.

Rather than bypassing that discomfort or reacting to it impulsively, I’ve started using it as a guide. I check in with my body—what is this feeling trying to tell me? If I feel the urge to intervene, I pause and ask:

What is my intention?

Am I acting from love or fear?

Do I believe this person needs saving, or do I trust in their ability to navigate their own path?

Am I honoring their journey, or am I trying to control it?

That moment of pause is powerful. It reminds me that when I try to “fix” things, I’m often acting from a place of discomfort with not knowing—with not seeing the higher purpose in what’s unfolding. But just because I don’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Observing Instead of Absorbing

One of my greatest challenges has been shifting from absorbing to observing. Empaths, helpers, and healers often struggle with this. We feel deeply, and that sensitivity is a gift. But when we absorb the energy and emotions of others, we lose our own grounding.

I’ve had, and continue to have, many opportunities to practice this shift. To sit in the presence of someone’s pain without trying to take it away. To witness their struggle without making it mine. To trust that they, like me, are on their own journey, learning exactly what they need to learn at the pace their soul requires.

Honoring My Energy

At the end of the day, I am responsible for my own energy. I can either contribute to someone’s struggle by joining them in it, or I can honor my own peace by holding space with love and non-attachment.

This doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I turn my back or stop offering support. It simply means I allow people the dignity of their own experiences while allowing myself the gift of peace.

My life has become more peaceful since embracing this perspective. I feel more content knowing that everything has a purpose, even when I can’t immediately see it. And that is enough.

So, the next time you feel the pull to fix, to absorb, to take on what isn’t yours—pause. Breathe. Trust. You don’t have to carry it all.

You never did.

Are You Ready to Step into Your Power?

If this resonates with you, join us for an upcoming workshop where we’ll explore practical tools to protect your energy, set boundaries, and fully embody your empathic gifts—without absorbing others’ emotions.

When we change the world changes.