Comparison

Have you ever been really excited about something until you started comparing it to what someone else had or did? I sure have.

I remember having a new outfit for the first day of high school. That was a big deal since I wore uniforms to school until then. I really loved it and felt good wearing it. I felt proud and confident. That is until I got to school and saw some of the other girls with nicer clothes. In my mind, I started comparing my clothes, shoes, hair, and shade of blue eyeshadow (it was the 70’s and we all had bright blue eyeshadow smeared on our eyelids).

Being in comparison always leaves someone less and someone more; it’s a judgment. I was ‘better’ than some and not ‘as good’ as others. How could I be excited all summer for school starting and in an instant drop into judgment of not enough?

Being in the cycle of comparison keeps us from feeling good and being happy. We constantly search for what will make us ‘better’ than another or someone not as good as we are. Most of this comparison goes on inside our heads. It does slip out as competition sometimes. Have you seen the movie Bridesmaids? I love that movie and the message that comparison can lead to all kinds of crazy. It is an extreme, funny example and most of us don’t get that out of hand even though on some level we can relate.

What drives us to compare ourselves to others? For me, I think it has been a lack or “not enough” mentality. Staying stuck in “not enough” leaves us in judgment, looking for validation of our worth from others or ‘better’ things.

How can we disrupt this cycle?

Gratitude and focus are important tools I use to stay in my lane and out of comparison. I practice gratitude for what I have and where I am in my journey. 

When I truly appreciate what I have, there is no room for comparing that to what someone else has or does. A daily gratitude practice grounds me in the knowing that I have everything I need. I am enough and I have enough.  Accepting ourselves is the first step in breaking the habit of comparing. 

Focusing on what works and what doesn’t work for me keeps me out of comparison and judgment. Keeping our attention on our own lives leaves us with more clarity to create our desires.

When we can appreciate someone else’s gifts without minimizing our own we find the freedom to live our best life. 

When we change the world changes.

When we change the world changes.