Belonging to Myself: Releasing the Need to Fit In

For much of my life, I carried a deep-seated rejection wound, one that shaped how I moved through the world and how I showed up in relationships. I spent years trying to fit in, seeking validation, and believing that if I could just make people like me, I would finally feel like I belonged. But no matter how much I tried, something always felt off. I was exhausted, not just by the effort but by the constant fear of not being enough.

Then came a turning point—a moment when I grew so tired of my own limiting thoughts that I surrendered to a new perspective. I realized that I had a choice. I didn’t have to live in a cycle of self-doubt and external validation. I didn’t have to keep carrying the belief that I wasn’t enough.

As I began shifting my thinking, my world changed. I felt lighter, freer. I started paying attention to the emotions in my body, using them as clues. When something triggered feelings of rejection, I would pause and ask myself, is this true? Almost always, the answer was no. It wasn’t the present moment speaking, it was an old story from my past, one I had unknowingly told myself for years.

And so, I began to rewrite that story.

I reminded myself: I belong to me.

This simple yet profound truth changed everything. When I embraced myself, I no longer felt the need to fit in. I no longer had to shrink, shape-shift, or prove my worth to be accepted. I realized that if I belonged to myself, I belonged anywhere and everywhere I wanted to be.

With this shift, my relationships have been transformed. I let go of people-pleasing. I stopped seeking approval. I no longer acted from a place of fear, worrying about whether I was liked. Instead, I began showing up as my authentic self—without apology, without hesitation. And in doing so, I discovered a new kind of freedom.

When we release the need to fit in, we create space for genuine connection. We attract people who love us for who we are, not for who we try to be. We step into a life where belonging isn’t something we chase—it’s something we carry within us.

So, if you’ve ever felt the weight of rejection or the exhaustion of trying to fit in, I invite you to ask yourself: Is this true? And then remind yourself, with love and certainty: I belong to me.

When we change the world changes.