Assumptions

During my meditation time this morning, I read a chapter out of one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

I was drawn to read about the third agreement which is ‘Don’t Make Assumptions’. After reading it, I spent a few minutes thinking about where that lesson showed up in my life and I journaled about it.

I wrote:

It’s easy for me to make assumptions. I am uncomfortable not knowing, so it’s easier sometimes to make assumptions than it is to stay in the discomfort, or to simply ask questions for clarification.

It takes courage to ask questions about something we’re not clear about instead of making an assumption.

When I make an assumption, I believe it to be true. That has gotten me into trouble more than once.

I used to think that everyone thought the way I thought, felt like I felt, and knew what I knew, I made that assumption. That caused a lot of pain in my life. I thought everyone judged me because I judged myself so harshly. I thought others blamed me like I blamed myself.

I have felt hurt so many times assuming that the people closest to me knew what I thought, wanted, or needed. I didn’t have the courage to tell them, I was afraid of rejection, so it was easier for me to go on and not talk about it. Fear kept me in a cycle of making assumptions, not asking for clarity, not asking for what I wanted and needed, and stuffing those emotions down.

I realize that others had no idea what I was thinking. Others were not judging me like I was judging myself.

It’s still not always comfortable to ask questions or ask for what I want or need, although I’m much better at it than I was.

I am practicing leaning into the uncomfortable and it’s getting much more comfortable being there.

I highly recommend reading “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. I will be talking about the other three agreements in the following weeks.

When we change the world changes.