Are you a better giver or receiver?

I saw a thought-provoking meme the other day that said:

To receive you must be willing to feel your own feelings of unworthiness.

How many times have we block ourselves from receiving?

When someone gives you a compliment do you deflect it by listing all the reasons it’s not true? Have you ever thought about it?

“Your hair looks great!” and you answer, “Oh I haven’t shampooed it for days, I’m due for color next week, I really don’t like it this length, it used to be so much thicker when I was younger…”

“Your outfit is so cute; it looks amazing on you.” And you answer, “Oh! This is so old, I got it at Walmart on the clearance rack, it has faded and look, it has a hole in the seam right here.”

Or someone is holding the door for you and you insist they go ahead of you.

Or you insist on buying lunch instead of letting your friend buy.

Any of those sound familiar?

I’ve blocked myself from receiving countless times in my life.

I have always found it easier to give than to receive.

As I look back on times that I didn’t allow myself to receive, I can see that it came from not feeling worthy of the compliment, act, or whatever it was. It was safer for me to deflect or not accept than to sit in the feeling of unworthiness.

I didn’t like to feel painful emotions. I had a built-in automatic response that deflected or pushed down what was too painful for me to face by feeling it.

Having awareness and allowing myself to feel the pain of unworthiness has made receiving feel good. I simply say, “Thank you.”

What can you allow yourself to receive today?

1 Comment

  1. Tammy Cantrell on December 7, 2022 at 12:53 am

    This is a wonderful entry, Judy. Such priceless food for thought! I used to be many of these things until someone who wanted to gift me something asked me ( after I tried to decline ): “Are you going to take my blessing away?”

    That changed my entire trajectory course in regard to receiving!