Disappointment

So… let me ask you a question.

Would you rather disappoint someone else or disappoint yourself?

This seems like a simple question, right?

This question came up in the Master Mind Group I’m a part of. It brought up a lot of answers for me that I wasn’t fully aware of and that I really didn’t like facing about myself. Our Master Mind Group is made up of 10 incredible women with a desire to grow in all areas of their life: spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, in their relationships – no area is off-limits. We are into our second year together and continue to uncover aspects of ourselves that keep us stuck ‘doing what we do’ and not knowing why; living on autopilot. These ‘hidden’ aspects keep us from our full potential and from living our best life. Being a part of this group is life-changing for me so I’ll be starting one as well!

Here’s what I uncovered about myself: disappointing others was truly something I didn’t think I had the right to do. Disappointing anyone else, whether a family member, friend, coworker, client, or total stranger on purpose was pretty much unimaginable. I remember so many times I said yes and did things I didn’t want to for someone because it was easier for me to push down the pain of denying myself than to see or feel someone else’s disappointment in me. The pain I felt in my gut every time I denied myself was such a part of my being that I didn’t pay attention to it. I know now that our bodies can hold only so much pain before it comes out – and it will, one way or the other. Sometimes it manifests as illness or disease. For me, it came out as resentment that turned into guilt for being resentful. I was caught in a cycle of pleasing others, disappointing myself, becoming resentful, feeling guilty about being resentful, so the cycle would start all over. Sound familiar? Are you with me?

Do you deny what you want or need just so someone else will have it easier or to avoid confrontation? I’m for sure not saying we don’t or shouldn’t make sacrifices, we do. What I’m talking about here is repeatedly saying yes before taking a moment to consider what works best for you just to avoid confrontation or discomfort. I’m talking about saying yes so someone else isn’t inconvenienced or disappointed – even if you are.

I’m learning that it’s okay for someone to be disappointed. Believe me, these days I have unlimited opportunities to disappoint and I’m getting better at it! I know for sure that it feels good to choose not to disappoint myself. I’m responsible for my happiness and living the life I desire and so is everyone else.

When we change the world changes.

When we change the world changes.