I mentioned last week that I would talk more about self-love in the coming posts. I really wasn’t sure where to start. Then, as it happens every Wednesday when I sit down to write, the words come to me.
When we judge ourselves as good and bad, instead of our choices being good or bad, it can be hard to accept ourselves. We all have made decisions that we wish we could change. It’s easy to get stuck in regret and feel like we don’t deserve to feel better because of something we did. We label ourselves as bad which is shame: “I am bad” and look at our behavior: “I did bad” which is guilt. It’s not easy to love ourselves when we carry guilt and shame for things we’ve done.
We have regrets and we judge ourselves for what we did because of what we know now, instead of looking at it as we made the decision because of what we knew at the time. “If I could go back and know what I know now.” How many times have you thought that? Too many to count here.
What if we gave ourselves the grace that we would give to our best friend when they need reassurance that they’re not bad because of something they regret doing? We’ve all been there for a friend that’s in a storm of regret. We talk them through it, listing all the good that they do, telling them, “This will pass, it doesn’t define who you are”. Why is it so hard to do the same for ourselves?
Let’s be aware of where we treat ourselves more harshly than we treat others.
Catch those self-loathing thoughts as soon as you have them. It’s all about micromanaging our thoughts and letting go of the ones we don’t want to dwell on. The longer we allow a thought to linger, the bigger the story we create around it. (Hopefully I’m not the only one who makes up stories in my head).
Let’s give ourselves the grace and understanding we give to others we love.
Let’s accept those parts of ourselves that we don’t love.
Let’s focus more on the things that make us feel good.
Being committed and consistent in accepting ourselves will allow us to feel more love for ourselves.
When we change the world changes.
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